Gotta Go My Own Way
by NotYetLostFaith
Summary: Part of my Songs Series, this fits between I Loved Her First and Mission Impossible and is based on High School Musical 2's Gotta Go My Own Way. We all had a HSM phase, don't lie. Kate's fed up of being canceled on and let down, so she does something a little drastic.


Castle let himself into the Hamptons house, sighing softly as he re-locked the door.

He'd been held up at the 'Meet and Greet', and when he'd called Kate to apologise, she had been very short with him.

He couldn't really blame her.

Six months pregnant and planning their wedding, largely by herself at the moment, he didn't blame her for hating him a little when he had to cancel on her, again.

* * *

He turned on the hallway light to make sure he didn't trip over Kate's shoes-she had developed a habit, in pregnancy, of kicking them off the moment she got in the door-but there wasn't a shoe to be seen.

Still stuck on the lack of heels in his hall, Rick aimlessly wandered into the kitchen for a glass of water, stopping short when he saw their kitchen table.

Kate had said she was making dinner. His favourite dish of hers, her speciality Chicken Tikka curry, and the sight before him broke his heart.

Set in the middle of the table, were two candelabras, the set he had brought them; crystal, purple and engraved with their initials.

The candles were long burnt out, were melted half way down.

His plate was full, finished with a flourish of parsley. There were bowls of extra rice and curry in the centre of the table, a full wine glass by his plate.

Kate's plate was half full, like she started but couldn't stomach it without him, her napkin strewn haphazardly at the side of her plate.

He scrubbed his hand across his face and started up the stairs, knowing he had a hell of a lot of making up to do.

* * *

He opened their bedroom door after a moment's hesitation and stopped dead in the doorway.

It was empty, too empty.

The bed was made, pillows fluffed, covers turned down.

Her phone, book, moisturiser were all missing from her bedside table, her charger not in the wall.

Rick's heart was in his feet as he made his way to their closet, already knowing what he'd see when he opened it.

As he suspected, all of her clothes were gone, too.

* * *

He swore to himself and turned, intent on calling her, when he spotted the folded piece of paper, propped against his pillow.

He collapsed on the side of the bed, gently unfolding the sheet of paper to reveal his fiancée's neat hand.

_Dear Castle, _

_Listen, I've got to say what's on my mind. _

_We promised each other we'd always be honest. _

_Rick, something about us just doesn't seem right these days. Life keeps getting in the way. Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged. _

_I can't do this any more Rick, I'm sorry. It's so hard to say, but I've got to do what's best for me._

_You'll be okay. _

_I've got to move on and be who I am. I just don't belong here babe, this is _your_ world, not mine. I can't be 'Ricky Castle's Girl' any more. _

_Especially now. I can't be that stick thin model everyone expects you to be with, and I don't want to be but, this isn't good for the baby and I. _

_I hope you understand. _

_We might find our place in _this_ world someday, but at least for now, I've got to go my own way. _

_I'm going back to the city. _

_When you're done with all this, come find me. And we'll talk. _

_But for now, I've got to go. I don't want to leave you, but I get my hopes up, make plans with you, and watch them fall, every time. It's too hard to watch everything we have, slowly fade away. _

_We were supposed to be happy, planning a wedding, having our first baby but you're never there._

_I'm sorry, Rick. _

_I love you, but I can't do this._

_Kate x_

Rick put his head in his hands and just breathed through the shock for a moment, before jumping up and rubbing the tears from his face.

She couldn't be that far ahead of him, the kitchen had still been warm.

Maybe he could still catch her.

* * *

He called her repeatedly as he drove like a madman.

He couldn't just let her leave like this.

She was the love of his life and, oh god, she was carrying their _baby_.

"Come on, Kate. Come _on_." Rick murmured as he scoured the roads frantically looking for any sight of her.

Suddenly, several miles from the house, he spotted tail lights ahead of him.

He said a prayer and put his foot down, trying to catch up, hoping beyond hope they were Kate's.

* * *

Castle pulled up alongside the car, it wasn't going very fast at all, and looked over, his fractured heart breaking further when he saw his fiancée, sobbing violently as she drove away from the house.

He honked his horn, feeling bad when she jumped, and when she turned to look at him, all shock and heartache, he motioned for her to roll down the window.

Kate hesitated, he practically saw her reservations go through her brain, before winding down the window.

"Pull over, Kate." Rick called across, his voice gentle.

Kate shook her head. "I'm going home, Castle."

"I know." Rick assured her. "I know, it's okay, but we need to talk first."

"We can talk in two weeks, when you get back to the city." She said resolutely, staring at the road ahead of her, not daring to look at him.

"Kate, you're five months pregnant with our child. You can't do this, babe. Just talk to me first. If you still want to go to the city after, then I'll let you go. Hell, I'll drive you myself, but sweetheart, just have a conversation with me first."

Kate shook her head, obviously fighting with herself.

"Baby, please?" He begged softly.

Kate sighed deeply, flicking on her blinker and pulling off to the side of the road.

Rick sighed in relief and pulled his car up in front of hers.

* * *

They both got out of their respective cars and locked them while Kate leaned against the side of her car and Rick slowly made his way to her.

"Hey." He murmured.

Kate smiled softly. "Hi."

"Leaving was your only option? You couldn't talk to me? Tell me what was wrong?"

"I've been trying to for _three_ days, but you're _never_ there, Rick. I need your support right now."

"This is my _job,_ Kate. It's not like I can just drop everything."

"I'm not asking you to!" Kate argued. "I just need to know that if I ask you to be there, you'll at least _try _to be there. Right now, it just seems like I'm your last priority."`

"You're my _first_ priority. You and our baby."

Kate curled her hand, protectively around her bump. "I've gotta go, Rick. I've got a long drive ahead of me." She turned, unlocking the car before opening her door.

"What about us? What about everything we've been through."

"What about trust? I can't trust you to be there for me, can't trust you to care enough to make the effort for me, or the baby."

"You know I never wanted to hurt you."

"I have to think of what's best for me and the baby, Castle."

"What am I supposed to do? I can't do this without you, Kate. I love you, and I love that baby, and I can't just let you walk away."

"I'll miss you."

"Then don't _leave_!" Rick begged, closing the door and leaning against it. "Kate, babe, don't leave. Just, come home. We'll talk about all of this, and come up with a plan. Just, stay. _Please!_"

"Rick..." Kate pleaded, quietly.

"Baby, please." He murmured, gently cupping her cheek with one hand, while the other stroked the width of her bump. "Please don't go. Just come home and we'll sort it all out, I promise."

"Are you gonna be there?" She asked petulantly.

"_Yes_." Rick nodded. "Yeah Kate, I'm gonna be there. I promise. I'll make this better. We both will."

Kate hesitated, stiff and worried, before falling into his body and sobbing into his shoulder, while he wrapped his arms around her and held her close, burying his face into her hair.

"I'm sorry, darling. I'm sorry. I've messed up, but I'll make it better. We'll get this right, babe. We just need to work through this. We just need to find the balance, Kate, but we'll do it. I have no doubt."

Kate nodded into the crook of his neck. "I need you to be there more often."

"Okay. I'll work harder to be there as much as I can. I'll be there, Beckett."

Kate held him tightly. "I still want to go back to the city."

Castle sighed. "Okay."

"I'm not leaving _you_. I just need some space from the stress, and all the people and..."

"I get it, it's okay." Rick soothed, stroking her hair gently. "It's alright."

Kate pulled back and kissed him softly. "I'm sorry."

"No." Rick shook his head, gently sweeping his thumb under her eye. "You go back, I'll be there in a few days, okay?"

"You're supposed to be here for another two weeks." Kate murmured quietly.

"I'll be _home_, in a few days." He reiterated. "We'll sort all this out."

"Okay." Kate murmured.

Rick kissed her forehead gently and hugged her once more. "Text me when you get home, okay?"

Kate nodded. "You know I will."

Rick smiled sadly, opening the door for her. "Drive safe."

Kate smiled as she got in the car and fastened her safety belt. Rick squeezed her knee, before closing the door behind her.

He waved her off as she drove away, taking a moment to breathe, before getting in his car, and driving back to the Hamptons house.

Four days later, Castle walked back into the loft and took his fiancée into his arms, holding her close, whispering promises into her hair.

* * *

They'd make this work.

They had a baby to think about. They were about to be a family.

They'd make this work.

Together.


End file.
